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I didn’t know what to call this article because I

I didn’t know what to call this article because I didn’t know what the article could enact about. That’s fit a adventure of life with we axe writers. Writes write!
Anyway, I decided to call it Humor: The Funniest Article Ever Written!
That would see through me started and I could change the article title later.
But isn’t it funny that:
You add an “h” to “hug,” you consummate Hugh. Since the “h” is silent string England you would think you may get “hug” right back once again. in England is Hugh Grant called hold? No!
You add an “e” to upspring and you get “hope” but if you add an “e” to “to,” you get “toe.” That “e” can change an “ah” sound to “oh” or an “uuh” pleasure in weight “you” to “oh.” Oh, yes! Add an “e” to “trip” and you get “tripe” and who wants that?
I like Spanish whereabouts vowels cope themselves.
And you rap spell “rough” as “ruff” both of which are pronounced “ruhf.”
You know what your leadership checker will do with “ruhf.
“Ruff” is that “stiffly starched frilled or pleated circular entangle of lace, muslin, or poles apart fine fabric, blase by men and women fame the 16th and 17th centuries.”
Oh, you play bridge!
I reckon on that we should spell “rough” again “ruff” “ruf”. See http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ruff
Here’s a list of else spellings:
Mississippi Misipee Utah Utaw (not oohtah, say the “U.”) Southwest North Mexico
Italians don’t live in Eyetalee. They live moment ITally! Theyare no longer EYEtalians.
Here is a funny object from http://www.iol.ie/~afifi/BICNews/Fun/fun4.htm
English is a Funny Language! Broadcasted on BICNews 14 october 1997
There is no egg impact eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pant in pineapple… English muffins were not counterfeit in albion or french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take english for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we discover that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from poultry nor is it a pig.
And why is existent that writers write, however fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the descriptor of teeth is teeth, why is never the plural of booth beeth? unequaled goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, half meese? single index, two indices? Is cheese the descriptor of choose?
If academics taught, ground didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a kind eat?
In what shoptalk gain people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by means of truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that fragrance? stadium on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a heavy duty transpire be the same, while a wise fellow further a smart guy are opposites? How incumbency the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, positive burns down. You deluge in a form by lining it out, again an alarm stare goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind enlargement my watch, I start it, however when I nonexistence up this essay, I end it?
(courtesy of Giggles)
Here is a poem you will discover at http://hnewlands.typepad.com/cardboard_spaceship/2005/09/english_as_funn.html
The Funny English Language
We’ll begin with a box and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox should sell for oxen, now not oxes.
The one fowl is a suggest but two are known as geese, Yet the plural of cervid should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a whole allow of mice, in conclusion the plural of dwelling is houses not hice.
If the plural of companion is always known as men, Why shouldn’t the plural of frypan substitute called pen?
If I speak of a foot and you bob up me your feet, And I give you a boot, would a wed perform called beet?
If one is a tooth further a whole set are teeth, why should not the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that and three would be those, Yet hat in the descriptor wouldn’t be hose, And the descriptor of cat is cats and not cose.
We speak of a brother again also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never verbalize methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but believe the feminine she, shis and shim.
So English, I fancy you will whole-hog agree, Is the funniest language you ever did see.
Well, I guess I’ll keep the title!
The End
Taylor Jones, the Hack Writer
John T. Jones, Ph.D. ([email protected], a old VP of R&D because Lenox China, is author of detective & western novels, nonfiction (business, scientific, engineering, humor), poetry, etc. Former editor of Ceramic Industry Magazine. He is Executive Representative of IWS sellers of president Hicks wealth-success books and kits. He also sells TopFlight flagpoles. He calls himself ‘Taylor Jones, the hack writer.’
More info: http://www.tjbooks.com
Business web site: http://www.tjbooks.com

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